'iT's OuR mOnEy': Hardworking daughter gets her college fund robbed after graduation when her parents surprise her with a baby brother and revoke half of her college savings

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jun 15, 2023 10:00 AM EDT

Wrestling student debt after you graduate college is a lot like taking on a polar bear in a 1v1, mano-a-mano fist fight. The odds are certainly against you, and even if you manage to beat the bear, you'll likely freeze out in the cold arctic tundra afterward. You may have hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans that you owe the Feds, but at least you took home a piece of paper that says that you know how to shotgun a beer before writing a 10-page research paper on gender studies.

Nowadays, prospective college students are arming themselves and either preparing for a 6 figure polar bear to battle post-graduation or they're looking into more financially sound decisions– unlike their millennial predecessors. In this case, one girl had an entire plan worked out in order to graduate debt-free, but 15 months before becoming a freshman, her parents went back on a financial promise they made 17 years earlier, stealing away half of her college fund. 

Keep scrolling to read on about how one hardworking college prospect got robbed of her college dream because her parents got the son they always wanted. For more audacious penny-pinching drama, check out this story about a cheapo tourist who refused to pay his boat tour guide and how he got marooned in the process.

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/throwawaycollegesav 1 day ago AITA for not wanting to share my college fund with my little brother? Not the A-hole
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  • 02
    Font - I (17F) am a rising senior at my high school. I'm getting ready for the college application season in a couple months and have several schools selected, most of which are various state schools. I have a spreadsheet with information on them, including costs of tuition and CoL for students there. I have functions on the sheet they show how well I'd be able to afford it using my college savings account that my parents have and my own general savings.
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  • 03
    Font - My parents (40F) and (41M) recently welcomed in my baby brother (1.5M). I was an only child before. I was talking to my mom about college and showed her my spreadsheet. Then she told me that I need to adjust it for half of the college savings as they were planning to give my brother half for his college savings.
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  • 04
    Font - I was pretty shocked by this since they have 16+ years to save up for his college, if that's something he'll even want to do. I ran the numbers with half the savings and it's not looking good. I want to graduate with as little debt as possible and taking away half is pretty damaging to that.
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  • 05
    Font - I tried talking to both of my parents about it but they wouldn't budge. My dad said it's their money so it's up to them how they get to spend it and I'm not entitled to it, which I understand. They said they're hoping to retire early so they have more time with my brother.
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  • 06
    Font - Funding another college fund would push back their retirement. He also said I should just save more money and not waste it (he's upset I bought myself a switch with my paycheck last month). I usually put most of my paycheck into my savings. He said I'm a smart girl and they can help me figure it out. I still don't think it's fair to lose a good amount of my college funding 15 months away from starting to someone who won't use it for over 15 years. AITA for not wanting to split the fund wi
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  • 07
    Rectangle - throwaway00131326 · 1 day ago Partassipant [1] I'd say NTA If they started your college fund when you were a baby then they have the same amount of time to do it for him. If they don't want to keep putting money away for another 18 years they should have thought about that before having another kid 14.3k Share
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  • 08
    Font - author124 1 day ago Certified Proctologist [28] Can't upvote this enough. OP's parents are the ones who decided to have another kid, knowing when they wanted to retire and what their original plan was. Taking away from what they told OP would be OP's resource for college is not the right avenue here.
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  • 09
    Font - w84itagain 1 day ago Taking away from what they told OP would be OP's resource for college is not the right avenue here. This is the issue. They led her to believe this was her money and she planned accordingly, only to have them pull the rug out from under her at the last minute when there was no time for her to plan differently. I sense a GC was born a year and a half ago.
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  • 10
    Font - backwardsinhighheelz 22 hr. ago 3 You misspelled "boy they always wanted" ✩ 2.7k Share Gromnor 22 hr. ago There are insufficient up votes available for this.
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  • 11
    Font - Disastrous_cause985. 20 hr. ago The parents are even planning to retire early so they can spend quality time with Golden Chid. 315 Share Librashell 18 hr. ago Partassipant [1] That kid is gonna be smothered.
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  • 12
    Font - author124 1 day ago 1 I Exactly! If the funds hadn't been specifically earmarked for this, it wouldn't be an issue on their part. But they told OP one thing and then waited till now to be like "welp actually we're gonna do it differently sorry not sorry"
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  • 13
    Font - Effective-Dog-6201 22 hr. ago The least they could have done was warn her 1.5 yrs ago (or even earlier, like when they found out they were pregnant) that things were going to change and she could have explored more options for saving.
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  • 14
    Font - guineapickle 16 hr. ago They hadn't realized yet that they would want to force her to stick around to provide free babysitting. By severely limiting her college funds, they probably think she will be forced to continue living with them and caring for their baby while maybe going to a local community college.
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  • 15
    Art - DatguyMalcolm · 19 hr. ago ole Enthusiast [8] I Plus that "iT's OuR mOnEy" sounded like a petulant kid
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  • 16
    Font - legal bagel 23 hr. ago Not to mention they probably have better incomes in their 40s than they did in their 20s so saving the same amount could be done in a shorter time. My eldest was born when I was 18 and my youngest at 29, I definitely have more income to save towards the youngests college than I did for the eldest.
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  • 17
    Font - tyren22 23 hr. ago Partassipant [4] It sounds like their plan wasn't even to retire early until the new kid entered the picture. Now they want to retire early to "spend more time with him."
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  • 18
    Font - UnicornBoned 22 hr. ago edited 19 hr. ago That jumped out at me, as well. What they're saying is this: 1. We're splitting your college fund with someone who might not even use it. And if they do, it won't be for another fifteen years. 2. We're telling you this after leading you to believe, for just as many years, that you would have it.
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  • 19
    Font - 3. We're telling you this RIGHT BEFORE you need to make use of it, giving you no time to adjust plans, hamstringing your future. 4. We spent less time with you while you were growing up to save for this college fund, now we're taking half that money back to spend more time with your brother while he's growing up, instead of saving up for him.
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  • 20
    Font - 5. You're clever and hardworking. Instead of rewarding that, we're going to demote you, and give you more work. You'll experience this again in the workplace. So really, we're doing you a favor by getting you used to it now.
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  • 21
    Font - Unicorn Boned 19 hr. ago I'm sorry that happened to you. What your mother did was wrong. Children trust us. They know less, have experienced less, and are at a disadvantage developmentally. They rely on us to guide them. To be honest and dependable, to create trust and stability. To use our advantages to THEIR advantage, on their behalf. Our children's lives are literally in our hands.
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  • 22
    Font - MoniqueCalculon. 22 hr. ago This is a good summary. OP is beyond NTA and her parents are within their rights to do what they want with their money but are acting like huge a holes and probably nuking their relationship with their oldest daughter.
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aita baby sharing student university promise students student loans brother finance college fund dreams debt financial broken-promise sister freshman student debt daughter hardworking Reddit money college son college student parents
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